Woman's Random Thoughts

• Insanity is my only means of relaxation.


• Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics classs pulls a hamstring.


• Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them!


• One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds!


• My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely.


• The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.


• The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does.


• The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.


• Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.


• Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.


• I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantihose on fire.


• Amazing you hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes.


• The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing (and then they marry him).


• I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day.